The Apocolypse of Havok...

Here I was going through my life as a Taco Bell employee and resident Douchebag of Chicago. Life was pretty boring for me, all I would do is make Chalupas and generally act like a jerk to everyone I ever met. Sometimes I would eat nothing but Hot Sauce packets for dinner. When I went places I would just tell people that I was dating Jessica Alba, but she was busy working on a movie so they couldn't meet her, then I would go and act like a douchebag some more and make more chalupas.

Then I thought to myself, how can I change my life? I know! I will start a blog that my fellow Taco Bell employees and 15 imaginary friends will read! It will be called Zubaz and Cock Rock and it will show off just how much of a Douchebag I can be.

So off I went, and I would indeed blog, and all my fellow douchebags and Taco Bell employees would read it and laugh and act like douchebags. Then one day, it happened.

People that weren't imaginary and weren't douchebags started reading the blog.

Yes, on this day 3 people I am sure I don't know, have commented on a post I wrote. Actually, it looks like one guy commented twice, so two people did. Here are their thoughts about the post about saturday's Cubs game:

Anonymous said...

Wow.. youre a fucking douche bag. Those guys actually have a JOB! and are at WORK! Do they come to burger king and tell you how to flip patties? Maybe I should tell them to.. Its pretty awesome how you get off on "heckling" people while theyre at work. Nice life. Keep up the good work. F*****.

Paul said...

I agree, you all need to get a life. You take the heckling a little too far. I hope you know the players all think you're a bunch of loser idiots. While youre sitting getting drunk and yelling at them, theyre all laughing thinking "whatever dude, keep it up, youre paying my salary" And Ill bet my life you're never going to see as much money as those guys make in a month! And I bet you're the same guy who would want a signed ball.

Anonymous said...

yeah.... then to go on a website and brag about what a dick you were? Very cool. Something to be proud of. See you at burger king

Frankly, I'm shocked and flattered that people took the time to read this and even dissect my writing style so well!

Perhaps it is time to end this blog? I never thought that people would read this blog and think that I work at Burger King. It is Taco Bell you insensitive neanderthals. I am going to cry myself to sleep now.

Unless, if these people are Cirque du Soleil employees. Then I will continue.

(Seriously, where did you people come from? I'd honestly like to know. I'm not going to post hate messages anywhere or anything, I'm just curious as to how my readership got a 20% readership increase from 10 people to 12 when I haven't even posted pictures of my girlfriend, Jessica Alba, yet because she's busy working on a movie.)