The Secret to Fixing the Old Style Bombers

So after getting rocked our last softball game against the team that didn't technically have enough girls to have a real win but didn't have enough testicles either (slam!), I mentioned that I had the secret to turning our season around and winning some games. What is it that we did that last year but haven't done yet this year? What is it that we did that we were undefeated when we done did this donedone thing?

At-Bat Music, that's what. We were 1-0 with the at bat CD from last year. Last year my song was "Whorehoppin'" by the Eagles of Death Metal. It was perfect, they were my favorite current band at the time, had a new CD out, and the song had the approriate amount of hilarity and bad assery for me.


Jesse "the Devil" Hughes: Hall of Fame Bad Ass

So an at-bat song can be one of many things. It can strike fear into the opposing team, saying "holy shit this dude is fucked up". It can make the opposing team burst out laughing because it's such a ridiculous choice. It can be topical to the persons name or interests, for example Vince choosing "doctor doctor gimme the news I got a bad case of loving you" last year, or it can be the song that just plain fires YOU up to hit a ball as far as possible. One thing an at-bat song should not be is unoriginal. Choosing "This is Why I'm Hot" is about the most predictable choice on planet earth. It's so lame it's something ARod might do. Update: This is, in fact, ARod's entry music. You gotta hate the Yankees.

So I need the Havok Crue to help me in choosing an at-bat song. Here are some ideas in no particular order:
1. Celestial Crown by The Sword

Pros: While the video doesn't really do it justice, this song DEFINITELY fits the bad ass category. Everyone is gonna be like god damn the SOB means business. Also, they've been one of my absolute favorite current bands of the last 6 months so it's topical.
Cons: Shit is scary. It's dead serious, there's absolutely no humor in this song, and that might not totally be me.

2. I Wupped Batman's Ass by Wesley Willis

Pros: Not only does it talk about about kicking ass and beating up a super hero, it's also completely hilarious.
Cons: It kind of implies that I'm retarded or homeless or both.

3. No More I Love You's by Annie Lennox

Pros: Absolutely hilarious, especially given what I wear to softball games. You gotta laugh if I roll up to a song going "doobee doobee doop doop doop AHHAHH"
Cons: I might not be able to concentrate its so hilarious. Also, it's not even remotely bad ass at all.

4. Me So Horny by 2 Live Crew

Pros: Crass, inappropriate, incomprehensibly stupid, and original.
Cons: Crass, inappropriate, incomprehensibly stupid, and completely has nothing to do with softball

5. The Stroke by Billy Squier

Pros: Bad Ass oldie with the Billy Madison style to it. Also, you Stroke a baseball bat don't you? So it's kind of relevant.
Cons: Probably the least original choice so far. Also could be something AJ Pierzynski might choose and that's not a good thing.

So there you have it. Havok Crue, please provide suggestions, comments, feedback, anything!