I Still Know...

...that I Still Know What You Did Last Summer is the worst movie ever made. Sure I've probably said this about 43 movies or so, but now I am talking about this shitty movie. If you haven't seen it (don't), the basic plot rundown is this: The killer from the first movie decides to attempt to kill Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage and her cleavages friends by setting it up so that they win a vacation to the bahamas on a remote island where the killer, Ben Willis used to live. Also, the killers son, who's name I already forgot so we'll call him Douchy McGee, is part of this because he takes the time to go to JLH's college, befriend JLH and hit on her enough to get invited on the vacation, and then act completely normal until the very end of the movie where he tries to help his dad kill her.

Um...no.

You know how you kill someone? You choke a bitch, that's how.



Or you stab them. Or shoot them. You don't spend an assload of money to send them on a free vacation where you then toy around and do a shitty job of not choking a bitch.

And how did they win this vacation? By answering this question: What is the capital of Brazil? They said Rio de Janeiro. No, you fucktards, it's Brasilia. You didn't tell one person this story before you left? If my friends won this vacation and told me, I'd say, no it's Brasilia, some motherfucker is gonna try to stab you with a hook. Google that shit. And I know that the internet was still in it's infancy when this movie was made, but I'm pretty sure back in the old days they had globes and encyclopedias and people that aren't dumber than Dan Brown.



Also, what was the conversation that the killer had with his son. "Hey you should get good grades and go to the same college as JLH and then befriend her and hit on her so we can plan a free vacation for her where you get invited and then we finally kill her on the anniversary of when she hit me with a car." "Um...alright. I mean I could just shoot her, but that sounds cool."

And what's the point of killing the random people that work at the hotel? Seriously, what did they do to deserve it? It's not like they hit him with the car. Whatever, I guess all the people that worked there were pretty mean anyway.

And using Jack Black as a stoner with dreadlocks that gets killed early on? Bad use. Motherfucker needs to teach kids how to rock or fight King Kong or some shit.

And what happened to Brandy?


...that you weren't that great of a singer

I'm fully convinced that the only reason this movie was made was to show off Jennifer Love Hewitt's cleavage.




Guhhhh. I hated this movie. And people should know the capital of Brazil.