Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Supply and Demand: A detailed look at the Economic Workings and Business Model of the Jawa people.




Introduction and Background: The Jawas are a race of people that reside on the planet Tatooine. The Jawas mostly live together and work together with some exceptions of individuals that stray from their clan. For the purposes of this study, we will only be looking into the Jawas that live together as an extended community, in their large vehicles known as Sandcrawlers. It is necessary to look at the geography of Tatooine, as it uncovers the answers to many questions about Jawa culture, climate and business choices. Tatooine is a planet comprised solely of sweeping sand dunes and areas of rocky formations. There is no indication of any water sources or plant life. You could draw the conclusion from this, that Tatooine would be completely inhabitable due to lack of oxygen, since there are no plants, but you would be incorrect. The planet is, in fact, inhabited by many species, including the oxygen breathing human race. It is not known where the breathable oxygen comes from, but some theories suggest the whogivesashititsamovie molecule could be in the atmosphere.


This is seriously Tatooine. There is seriously no water. Gotta love nerds.

The Jawas primary mode of transportation is the Sandcrawler. It resembles a large brown turd tank and houses up to 300 Jawas and as many robots. It is possible that the Jawas live in this thing.



Business Model: The Jawa people have decided to enter the lucrative business field of vintage robot resale. Their business revolves around obtaining old robots at a very small cost, and then reselling these robots to local inhabitants of Tatooine. In the opinion of our experts, this plan seems a bit foolish. One can not imagine a large number of robots randomly wandering the desert landscape of a remote planet. In fact, you'd assume that the only robots that wander around are robots owned by locals that seem to have wandered off. This can only lead to conflict when selling the robots back. One would imagine the typical dinner time conversation between Jawa mates as such:



Jawa 1; Jawa that stayed at home and cooked dinner: "Hi honey, how was work today?"

Jawa 2; Jawa that surveyed the canyons looking for stray robots: "Oh not so good, we sat there in a crevice whispering to each other, waiting for a stray robot to pass by, but there was no luck. Ootini."

Jawa 1: "Oh that's terrible! What is this, the 10,257th straight day that a random robot hasn't been wandering through a canyon on a remote planet that's comprised entirely of desert yet still has oxygen and life forms?"

Jawa 2: "Yeah, something like that. I'm beginning to think that the Jawa's should go into a different field."

Jawa 1: "Well to cheer you up I knitted you a new brown cloak that looks exactly like the clothing every single other being in our species wear because it would be ridiculous for a science-fiction movie to have unique non-human characters."

Jawa 2: "Do you ever wonder why you can't see Chewbacca's penis? I mean he is 7 feet tall, that thing's gotta be huge."

Chewbacca: "HRRRUHHHGGGGHHHHHUUUUNNNGGGNNGG!"


Will fuck your Jawa shit up.


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

can you next post be about LARPing?

kthxbai!

Anonymous said...

i second the idea that your next post should be about larping.

and then maybe one about our wingoff/danceoff.

damsel
in
digress

www.
damselindigress.
wordpress.
com

Anonymous said...

I don't even like Star Wars and this had me rolling.

I like the blog a lot, man. Keep it up.