Monday, June 30, 2008

Bonnaroo 2008 - Day 1 Or Entrance to the Refugee Camp: Death to my Cleanliness!



This year I have the unfortunate situation where I have to miss Lollapalooza. What could possibly fill my need for mind numbing exhaustion in summer heat while listening to a million live bands? BONNAROO. As background, Bonnaroo is essentially the same thing as Lolla but with a few key differences. First, Bonnaroo is 4 days to lolla's 3 days. Next, and most importantly, Bonnaroo is in farm grounds in the middle of nowhere Tennessee, and once you enter Bonnaroo, there is no re-entry. By that I mean, everyone arrives thursday to Bonnaroo and are caravanned into a spot that they use for camping. You live in your tents in Bonnaroo for the next 4 days. Showers are $7 and therefore, the majority of festival goers do not shower while they are there. I assume it's the majority, because that's what I did. It was a very smelly weekend. However, this gives Bonnaroo a very distinct advantage over Lollapalooza in that set times can be at any time of the day or night, and as a result can be much longer. This also creates cultural differences at the festival that are pretty entertaining. Although the lineup style has changed dramatically over the years, it is still evident that Bonnaroo began as a Hippie Centric Jam Festival. Thank you Metallica, for turning this festival into a slice of awesome (despite the hippies disdain for your appearance).


Bonnaroo Hippies

We arrived into Bonnaroo on Thursday afternoon. I'll change my friends names for their own safety and discretion and will henceforth refer to them as such: My car had me, "Arthur", and "Erin" and we followed a car with "Jackie" and "Mike" who followed a caravan that had "Shitloads Of People That Reminded Arthur of New Trier Assholes" or SOPTRANTA from now on. Also a guy named "Dave" joined us. We were ushered into a camp that was a straight shot to Centeroo (where all the stages and shit are) and right next to a forest (more on the forest and it's inhabitants later). At first we were dismayed at what appeared to be a daunting walk to Centeroo, but we quickly realized from the maps they handed out that it could have been significantly worse. Our trek to centeroo ended up only being about 20 minutes (some could get up to 45!). We set up our tent and connected our open air parasol thingy with the SOPTRANTA peoples open air parasol thingys. I immediately starting sweating due to the heat. At no other point during this weekend was I not sweating. And I didn't shower once. I thought you'd like to know that.


Bonnaroo Overhead

Immediately after that we started drinking (OH YUENGLING GLORIOUS YUENGLING IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN) and headed off to see our first band.


Yuengling

Bonnaroo lesson number 1: Figure out creative ways to smuggle in alcohol.

At Bonnaroo you can bring anything you want into the festival as long as you don't have any glass. There is an "inspection" before you get in where you have to have your car "checked" but all it consists of is someone asking you if you have glass or drugs and then you say no (lies) and go in. They fully expect people to bring in alcohol and it's totally cool. What you can't do is bring that alcohol to Centeroo, where they have people checking your bags before you enter. There are ways around this. Our most effective methods are putting cans of beer inside jacket pockets tied around the waste, and my favorite and the most effective method, which I will code name "Flask in boobs". This method is top secret and I will not share it with the public.

The first band we saw was MGMT. MGMT is notable for being a "hot new band" and because Jackie and Erin both dated the lead singer at different times in middle school. Thus they were both incredibly excited to see them live. Although unimpressed by the lead singers looks (sorry ladies), I did enjoy the band. They reminded me of 1970's David Bowie but without the outrageous look. Perhaps all they need to do is wear an eyepatch and they will become super mega stars.


Was apparently a dreamy 7th grader

Next, was one of the bands I very excited to see. THE SWORD. For I knew the Sword would bring me on a journey where I could Harken on the Howl of the Huntsmen Hounds and Labor in the Liquid Light of Leviathan while I stand in the presence of the Gods of the Earth. Arthur joined me for what was undoubtedly the LOUDEST performance of the entirety of Bonnaroo. Man were they loud, but damn Thor, did they slay. If there had been a spider priest present, their colossal riffs would have slayed it in a heartbeat. I thoroughly enjoyed them and they left a twinkle in my eye like a flash from Barael's Blade in the sun.


Short Sword clip since I know you have no attention span

Next up was Vampire Weekend. Now for such a bad ass name you would think you would get bad ass music, but they're more like Paul Simon in playing in the Ivy League Quad than the Norse God Sounds of the Sword. Truthfully, I can not remember much of this performance other than the fact that there were no vampires leaving me tragically disappointed.


About what I was expecting

LEZ Zeppelin was next. Months prior to Bonnaroo there were crazed rumors that Led Zeppelin was playing. Turns out people are stupid and it was actually Lez Zeppelin, a lesbian Led Zeppelin cover band. While the lead singer isn't quite the same as Robert Plant by any means, I still really enjoyed them because it was so awesome to FINALLY hear Zep played in a live setting. I really wish they would unite for a tour rather than just the one time dealy last fall in London. Those tickets would be hotter than hell and very pricey but it would be so worth it. This was the last band I saw. More observations and band descriptions to come later!

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